why people cheat…

All of us in some part of our lives did cheat. This may be in a test, in a game and even in relationships. The question is why? Let’s just say for some we cheat on examinations, quizzes and tests because we did not prepare or study and we are afraid to fail and avoid embarrassment. When we try to cheat on games we play even playing tricks on our friends this is because we want to succeed and gain respect from others. But for some they cheat on their relationships. It may be in a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship the simplest friendship we sometimes cheat and for some in their marriages. But I have always wondered before why we cheat on people we love. My ex cheated on me countless times. I asked myself back then, WHY???? What did I do wrong? Am I not attractive anymore? Is my cooking bad? Am I boring in bed? At one point I became insecure and suffered from low self-esteem. Luckily, when I started working again, I was surrounded by people, I found my old self back. I also learned in time that maybe I overdid myself. Being the goody-goody housewife and mother. My life only revolved with my husband and children. I never went out with friends, I never appreciated myself nor gave much importance to my own happiness because for me back then my family was more than enough for me. This is one factor that most couples take for granted to learn to love themselves more. When babies arrive we spend less and less cuddle time. We sometimes think that as long as our husbands/wives and children are happy then we are fine. Sometimes husbands find wives boring especially when we start focusing on family life alone. Husbands become preoccupied with work and seldom spends time with the family.

So why do we cheat at some point in our lives? Especially in relationships. Experience has taught me that we tend to seek some spice and adventure when the romance starts to fizzle or simply we get bored and worst we fall out of love and respect. When we meet someone who represents a partner when the relationship was still young and fresh, we think we are attracted. Come to think of it, we are not really in love with that new person, we are simply just in love with the feeling of excitement and new adventure. The person we once loved is now a different person that’s why for some they find faults, criticize and say hurtful words. But how do we avoid cheating? How do we keep the love burning?

Find ways of reminding ourselves how this person brought so much spark and love when the relationship was starting. Add a lot of spice, explore together, do new things together, talk about problems, feelings, talk about anything under the sun but the most important lesson that I have learned and I wish to share is to learn to love and give importance to oneself. Never ever lose yourself. Because loving oneself brings confidence and you will be able to love and give more. Also, Respect. This is very important. Respect for oneself and others because if you lose respect for the one you love, you start doing all the wrong things and say all the wrong hurtful words.

We may find a new person to love, that’s perfectly fine. However, it is best not to cheat on a relationship. Better end the latter amicably and start the new relationship. It may hurt your partner but it is better to be honest than to live a life full of deceit. For me, it is impossible to have 2 loves at the same time. It is never fair and it is disrespectful.

Hurting and cheating someone does not make one a better person, it just becomes a cycle that repeats over and over again and you become used to it that when you become bored or tired of the relationship you move on to the next which is never a good thing.


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