Monthly Archives: October 2012

I am most thankful for…..

There are times when we get preoccupied with a lot of things in life that we forget to count our blessings. This blog may sound religious in nature but whether a person believes in religion or not we still have to be thankful for everything that we have.

Everyday, I start my day with a prayer. My day is not complete without giving thanks to the Supreme Being, my Lord, God and Savior. If I am not able to pray at home, I make it a point that I pray on my way to work. The very first thing that I say to my God is “Thank you Lord for this day that you have given me.” I am thankful that I am still alive and breathing and I will be able to spend this day with my kids and loved ones and I will be able to go to work happy, healthy and safe. Second, “Thank you Lord for my children.” Thank you for giving them to me as they give me so much joy and happiness. They are the reason why I remain strong in spite of all the trials and hardships in life. I remain focused and inspired because of them. Third, “Thank you Lord for two sets of parents, my biological and adoptive parents.” Thank you for letting me have two dads and two moms. For without them I will not be the person I am right now. Fourth, “Thank you Lord for my brothers and sisters.” I am lucky to have siblings that I know who will protect me and love me no matter what. Fifth, “Thank you Lord for the special people who never fail to help me in times when I needed help.” These are people who help, love, accept and forgive me over and over without question. Sixth, “Thank you Lord for the food on the table, money inside my wallet and the home where I live. “Seventh, “Thank you Lord for my job, for without it I won’t be able to send my children to school and I am able to provide for their needs.” Eighth, “Thank you Lord for my creditors and debtors, they have been compassionate and patient with me.” Ninth “Thank you Lord for my Dad whom you gave 81 years to me and my family, Thank you for giving me my two babies even for a short period of time, they made me a better and stronger mother and person.” Tenth, “Thank you Lord for friends.” Real friends who will never leave my side even if worst comes to worst and not friends who will leave me because I am poor and I am not famous. Friends who are loyal and will remain true whatever happens. And lastly, “Thank you Lord, for YOU.” You are everything to me, For loving me, helping me and giving me all the blessings that I am thankful for right now.

As I have said it is really not a matter of religion, whether we believe in God or not. The thing is we should be appreciative of the things that we have, may it be good or bad, small or big. Counting your blessings makes one more at peace rather than counting the bad misfortunes we encounter.

Come to think of it, while I was typing this blog I realized I am truly blessed. I will just work hard and pray harder for the extra things that I need.

We just have to remember that there is always something to be Thankful for.

Gay and Proud

I realized recently that I have become a gay magnet. Meaning, I have attracted so many gay people to become my friends which I love and adore. This blog is about my gay friends and all the gay people out there.

When I was still in high school I remember being so comfortable with my gay friends. I laughed with them, share jokes and stories. I eat with them and I share secrets with them. Never a dull moment. Lately, I realized that most of my gay friends are really special to me or have become part of my life and family. They make me laugh, they listen to what I have to say, they respect what I want in life and they never judge the kind of person I am. They would help me whenever I need a friend the most. I am so amazed how they can openly express their feelings about life, love, beauty and sex. No boundaries with regards to their ideas and opinions. You can easily open up to them. The gay world for me is full of zest and vibrancy. So much optimism but can be negative depending on how other people perceive them. Once they become your friends, they will stick with you and fight for you no matter what.

Some of them are basically misunderstood. Some may think they are too loud or too outrageous or even wild. This is just them being open and honest and enjoying their lives to the fullest. No pretensions which for me is very important. There is no need to hide because they accept you for whomever or whatever you are. I sometimes feel bad whenever they are judged, discriminated or questioned. When others do not understand their way of thinking. Gay people are human beings with genuine feelings. In my own opinion there is really no need to tag them as the third sex because as I’ve said they are human beings and should be treated as equals and as normal as possible.

I was once asked by a friend if one day I found out that one of my kids is gay. I thought to myself, well, being gay is not a crime, as long as they do not hurt or humiliate anyone. They don’t step on others or walk all over people, I’m fine if they turned out gay. Sometimes, I wish that other people would not judge by the way we live our lives or how we decide to live our lives. People should respect and look at the achievements and contributions of a human being to the society. It is how we have helped shaped the future of our world and not how we look like in the outside or whether we are black, white, straight or gay.

Some may think that I have become a gay supporter. But really, some of them are really good friends of mine and are really good and fabulous people. Nobody has the right to put anyone down or degrade an individuality. Each one is unique. So to all my Gay friends and all gay people out there “BE GAY and BE PROUD!!!!”

The Full Figured Woman….

Recently, I embraced the fact that I may never regain my old body weight when I was in my early 20’s. I am now 36 and I read in health books that for women 30 and above its is harder to lose weight. The metabolism slows down and women my age store more fats. My work does not require a lot of body movements. We sit for 8 hours typing, looking on our computers and chatting on the side. Sometimes, there would be food lying on our tables. Junk food, colas, fast food meals and so on. I do my best to exercise on weekends, I do my brisk walking or running. I am really doing my best to shed of the extra pounds gained though the years due to pregnancy and health conditions. Whatever the reasons are for being a little heavier it is still best to do something in improving my body weight and for my own well being.

When I was young, I knew I was a little chubby, whenever I eat a lot I would gain weight. My bone structure is bigger than my siblings. I am a little taller than most of them but I had years of great body weight too. I was at my best weight ever when I was 19 years old. It was so ideal that I can wear anything. From skimpy swimsuits, sleeveless blouses, mini skirts, tube dresses etc… I grew bigger when I had my third pregnancy. I also had a condition called poly cystic ovaries, wherein I had tiny cysts all over my 2 ovaries. It is a hormonal condition which also causes weight gain. I never had problems losing weight when I was a lot younger but now, it is much harder even with the help of fat reducing pills, slimming coffee, juices and diet.

Being a full-figured woman, I should be proud. I love the way I look, (though I still hope to lose more weight before the holiday seasons starts). However, there are people out there who makes a lot of fun teasing women with weight problems. Now this pisses me off especially if these people do not understand the conditions, the situations these women go through on a daily basis. All they think about is it is naturally funny and disgusting. Full figured women are happy and successful people. Of course, they also want to lose weight. Who doesn’t? But people should respect every single person’s decision on they way they live their lives. We have a lot to offer in this society. We love life, we respect others and we are sexy in our own very special way. My self-confidence has always stayed with me. It’s the way I carry myself and how I project sexiness even if I am full-figured. I don’t care what others may say about how I look, the important thing is I am happy and content. I have family and friends around me who appreciate my presence and significance in their lives.

Next time you see a full-figured woman, smile but never laugh or make jokes about them. Show them respect. They don’t need pity nor acceptance in this society just your Respect.

Pregnancy at 40 and above

Why do women age 40 and above even want to get pregnant?

Women at this age may already be financially capable of raising a child and family. They want to make sure that they will be able to provide a stable and secured future for the child. Also at this point in a woman’s life, she is more emotionally stable to face the challenges of motherhood. However, there are risks and complications when getting pregnant at the age of 40. Many of the complications related to age in pregnancy can have life-threatening consequences for both mother and baby. For example a woman over the age of 40 may encounter health problems such as diabetes, hypertension and placenta previa. Also, low birth weight, stillbirth or fetal demise can also happen. Getting pregnant at 40 may also be difficult for some women. For some, they may encounter fertility problems. As a woman ages the quality of eggs being produced becomes less and less viable. This can cause chromosomal defects. Nevertheless, there are still women over the age of 40 who wants to start a family.
Pregnant at 50, is quite similar to women being pregnant at 40. Almost the same complications are encountered and sometimes much more dangerous because of maternal and fetal deaths. Pregnancy at 50 may also lead to birth defects. But the question is How to get pregnant at 40?

With the rise of technology and medical advances in Science, it is now possible for women to be pregnant at any age. If a woman encounters fertility problems at 40, there are fertility drugs available, Intrauterine insemination, also known as IUI, is sometimes called artificial insemination, In vitro fertilization, called IVF, involves taking fertility medications to stimulate the ovaries, then undergoing an egg retrieval, where eggs are removed from the follicles in the ovary and fertilized in the IVF lab. Women who no longer produce eggs on their own can get pregnant by using donor eggs. But the chance of getting pregnant using artificial means is not 100%. Patience and determination is needed for the parents to be. It can also be very expensive using the artificial means of getting pregnant. Still, there are natural ways to get pregnant even if a woman is over 40. Having sex regularly and monitoring ovulation, improve male fertility making sure that the man has healthy and viable sperm, having a healthy lifestyle, quit smoking and drinking alcoholic beverages, eating healthy and taking vitamin supplements.
I myself have once asked what the reasons to be pregnant are. For me it’s really quite simple. I wanted to get pregnant to start my own family. I wanted kids to take care of and to shower them with my love. Whatever age a woman may get pregnant, whatever the reasons are, we must make sure that we are ready to face the responsibilities of having children. Children are gifts to society. We must nurture them and do our best to be the best parents they could ever have.

Women & Shoes & shoes and more shoes…

Why do women love SHOES?

I love shoes!!! Oh no, in fact I adore shoes. It’s one of my addiction. I am not brand conscious, as long as it’s stylish, functional, trendy and cheap!!! I will buy those shoes. I really don’t like to buy high-priced shoes. Not only that I can’t afford it but why do I need high-priced shoes when I can have great shoes for just an affordable price. But I will be more than happy to own labeled shoes if it’s a gift or I buy it at least half the price.

Almost all women love to wear different kinds of shoes. It’s really not an issues whether you are just wearing jeans and a white shirt as long as you have gorgeous shoes, you’re a smashing diva on the red carpet. Shoes are like accessories for women. It heightens the way we look. It shows character, boost self-confidence and project style and sex appeal. I’m no Carrie Bradshaw of Sex and the City or Former First Lady Imelda Marcos but I keep a few pairs for everyday use at work. I love my shoes even if they are just cheap. My shoes are my pals.

When we buy shoes we must take into consideration our comfort, our feet should not feel stressed or it’s being murdered. Value for money, the price of the shoes should be within our budget. What would we do with a pair of Manolo’s or Jimmy Choos if we don’t have any money left for groceries or payment for our credit card bills? I mean if we really can’t afford it then we don’t buy it at all but if we have the means then we can splurge. Aside from comfort and value for money we also have to look at the craftsmanship and the longevity of the shoes. It may be stylish and trendy but if you feel it will just last for a few days then forget it.

Shoes are partners of women on a daily basis. We wear them everyday, they carry our weight, feel the tension of our tired feet. We must know how to take good care of our shoes. Never wear a pair on consecutive days (specially high-heeled shoes) allow a day of rest so the shoes will not be easily worn down. Have at least 3 to 4 pairs of shoes so you can alternate them in your day-to-day activities. Choose a shoe that will not hurt your toes or put stress on your lower leg. Allow the shoes to breath, and not hide them in boxes as soon as you take them off.

Take good care of your shoes and you will find comfort and happiness wearing them.

each child is unique

I have 3 wonderful kids and each one of them has special and weak traits. Even if a child comes from the same mother or the same set of parents still each child is uniquely different.

I treat each child differently in the sense that I know how to approach them individually. My eldest daughter Camille is the serious, girly type while my other daughter Coleen is the more happy-go-lucky and boyish type. Of course my only son Paul is the quiet, observant and reserved type. I can talk more with Camille about serious, heavy stuff like love, sex and heartbreak also about make up, shoes and accessories while with Coleen I can talk about the funny stuff, embarrassing moments and secrets. Paul is my frequent companion. He stays quiet and would speak his mind if needed. Although each of them show their separate individuality, the 3 of them get along just fine. They stand united in times of crisis. They talk about anything under the sun. share advice’s, they help, love and adore each other.

It is not always a smooth relationship though. There is also sibling rivalry but this happens rarely in our house. I taught them not to be jealous or envious but instead to support each other. If any of them succeed first then the others should be happy and supportive because with this type of attitude all of them will succeed because they know how to help and be supportive. There are times that they disagree on certain things but at the end of the day they learn to compromise and talk things among themselves.

Camille is like my partner in rearing her other 2 siblings. I tell her when I am just tired from all the stress of work and I need a break. This shows her the amount of responsibility I have as a parent and it also teaches her to take charge of any given situation because she is the oldest child and chances are the younger siblings will be dependent on her when I am not around. With Coleen, I talk more about our daily trials, our problems, my thoughts about life and love because as she is more of the happy-go-lucky type of person I am teaching her to be more responsible and sensitive to the people around her. I am training her to not only think of herself but of others as well. With Paul, it’s different. Although he grew up to be a very good boy. He never gave me headaches. Usually boys are more rowdy and difficult to handle most especially if a father is not around to help rear the child. I make it a point to teach him to be courteous and polite to girls. To be sensitive of the feelings of women and to protect his 2 sisters no matter what. It’s always a fun time with Paul. We both love to watch movies, stroll in the malls and to look for good food to eat.

Children are unique in their own special way but what is important for every parent to know is to treat them fairly and respect their individuality. Acceptance is very important too. We as parents are here to mold and guide them the right way but we have to accept and respect them for who and what they are. For me, children are supposed to be allowed to experience things on their own, to spread their wings. This helps build their character, make them more stronger. They may go astray sometimes but we have to be there whenever they fail and make mistakes.

Even if each child is unique, Genuine and Sincere love for them will make them feel secured, trust others and themselves more.

mom, i broke my heart…

For my daughter Camille….

As a mother, it’s the worst nightmare for any of our children to get hurt most especially on matters of the heart. It’s like you have protected these children from other people and circumstances all their lives and here comes a nobody hurting the feelings of our beloved children.

First broken heart… I dreaded the day that I will come face to face with one of my kids getting brokenhearted. Quite honestly, I don’t know what to do. The first time this ever happened it pierced my heart to the core. I noticed that it was early in the morning that my eldest daughter woke me up and said she was going to school. She was in her freshman year in college and I noticed the time that it was too early for school and she really looked sad. I knew she wanted to tell me something. I asked her what’s wrong? and she just said nothing mom, I’m fine. But when you are a mother you know deep inside that there is something wrong. I asked her again and she answered. The guy that I was seeing started to date someone else. A nursing student. He said he loved me, but why is he seeing someone else? and tears welled up in her eyes. I could not explain the pain I felt. It was as if I was stabbed in my heart. I hugged my daughter so tight and told her it was ok to cry. I told her just let it all out. Mama is here for you, and I will never ever leave you because I love you. Quite honestly, as a mother I felt like killing the guy or punch him on the face but it’s not suppose to be like that. I have to show my daughter to be strong and to accept the hurt. Then I told her, well there are a lot of jerks out there that you should be careful. Not all people will treat you fairly, sincerely and love you completely. Be wise my dear daughter in choosing the right guy. Do not believe every single rosy word they will tell you. I should know, Been there, Done that.
I had a fair share of bad break ups, bad relationships and wrong men. I guess I have learned as I go through life. I am a better person now and I more careful.

All of us in one way or another will have to deal with a broken heart. It’s not perfect the first time. We may not find the right one in one go. It may take years, it may take forever but the important thing is that we must always be ready to get hurt, to take a chance, to be willing to forgive, to make mistakes and to learn and move on gracefully. At times we feel like it’s the end of the world but surely everyone surpasses the pain and agony of a broken heart.

I teach my kids to be brave all the time. To face problems head on. It is not a weakness to cry especially when they get hurt because of love. The most important lesson I have taught them about Love is Love is not perfect all the time, there will be rough and crazy days, you may get hurt badly but you have to learn to stand up again, know who you are and that you are worthy of being loved, Forgive so you gain peace of mind, learn from your mistakes and most of all Love and respect yourself more so you can love and respect others much much more.

So it’s fine if your kids say Mom/Dad I broke my heart, just let them know that WE are there to help them heal and mend it…..