i miss you DAD so much (A tribute)

For months and months now I have been wanting to pay tribute to the man who raised me and given his name to me. A rightful tribute to a wonderful and loving father “Edmundo Sr.”.

After the passing of my Father Ed (as he is fondly called by everybody) last February 13, 2012 I wanted to give him a tribute suited for a great father he was to me and my brother. I wanted to do this for the longest time but whenever I start to remember the moments I had with him I would be flooded with so much emotions. I cry whenever I remember the last few months I spent with him. Even right now as I am typing the words the tears will just not stop from falling.

Today, a day before my mom’s birthday I sat in our living room chatting with my mom and looking at pictures of Dad when all of a sudden the two of us burst into tears. We shared to each other the final moments of Dad. Mom cried and told me a day before Dad passed he called mom inside their room and told my Mom ” Mommy, Mahal na mahal kita” (I Love you so much) and tears welled up on my Dad’s face when he said those words to Mom. She hid behind the door so Dad won’t see her crying. When she re entered the room Mom lay beside Dad and hugged him so tight.

The most unforgettable moment I had with Dad was in the hospital when I asked him if he could still remember who I was, He was already suffering from dementia at that time. Dad answered me “Yes, you are Rosilyn, my favorite daughter whom I love so much. I couldn’t hide the tears from him and I answered him back I love you so much Dad, I am sorry for everything. I hugged him and every time I went out of his hospital room he would look for me and would want me to just be there by his side. The day I gave him his last bath, he touched my leg and said thank you for taking good care of me. I never wanted to go back to work I just wanted to be there for him. I wanted to make sure he was comfortable and that he was well taken care of. I would do anything for Dad.

I have fond memories of my Dad. He would come home every weekends from work. And it was so festive whenever he would arrive. It was the happiest day on earth for me and my brother. He would ask us what we liked to eat, where we want to go and what we want to do for the weekend. Dad never failed to call every night from work. He never failed to say I love you. He was always there for the special occasions and for school events. He rewards us for every single thing we do. He spoiled us. Most especially me. Dad gave me my first puppy. I wanted so much to have a pet piglet and he said he would give me one if he could but it’s not possible for me to have a piglet instead he gave me a puppy. I regret for some things I have done to disappoint him over and over because he always forgave me and welcome me back into his arms. I made sure that I would make him feel loved during the last few months of his life. I promised him even before he got sick that I will give my time, energy, love and devotion to Dad. It was very painful when he passed. But I know inside my heart we all made Dad very happy and content.

Dad taught me to always forgive the ones you love, He taught me the greatest lesson in life. To love unconditionally. To give even if there is no more to give, to be patient to people who hurt you over and over again. To prioritize your loved ones especially the children.

I could still remember Dad walking in the street for his morning exercise a few moths before he got sick. I walked beside him and he asked me “are you going to work?” I said yes. He said “take care of yourself.” As I rode the tricycle I looked back and he was still standing there and when he saw me looked back, he waved goodbye and I suddenly cried. That simple gesture of Dad showed so much love for me.

I miss Dad… I miss everything about him. I miss his kindness, his gentle ways. I miss the way he takes care of his grandchildren. I miss how he offers me and my kids to eat. I miss Dad whenever he asked me if I was ok and if I still had money. I miss his presence in the house. I miss his postal stamps collection. I miss him not talking but I would feel his sincere worry for me, my kids, my mom and my brother.

Dad you have been a great father to me. I will never forget you. I love you very much.

I miss you Dad, I miss you so much…..

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