the EX boyfriend…

I have always had this belief that once an EX always an EX. It was never my attitude to go back to my past relationships because for me once it’s over, it’s so over and done with. I had an experience with an ex boyfriend. We saw each other after 15 years and reminisced the past. For a while it was kinda romantic and nostalgic. We tried for a second time but it failed. He was different now. He had commitment issues. He just wanted me around, he wanted us to go out and still see other people. He was not ready for a full-time relationship or because I already have kids and I am a single mother. I ended it before it got deeper and before I got hurt. It was never clear what really happened between us the second time around. Right now, we still see each other and manage to say Hi’s and Hello’s. But as far as getting back together, Nah!!! It won’t happen.

Recently, I came across with another EX through Facebook who is miles away in another country. He was my boyfriend when I was still very young. Let’s say it was puppy love. He was so intense during the time we were still an item and I was young and not serious about anything. I got scared. I felt that if I allow him to be more intense with me, we might have eloped and ran away. So 20 years or so has passed and we had the chance to talk again. It was really nice. reminiscing about the past, laughing together about the silly stuff we did. Escaping from home to be together, writing love letters, watching movies. Maybe we both felt a tiny spark, we saw a tiny light when we recently spoke, I don’t know. I have been separated for almost 8 years now and so is he. We have not thought about getting back together but we both admitted it was fun and refreshing to be talking again and sharing stories about our life and kids. I’ve never wanted to be married again nor have kids. I am happy as it is. But if someone special comes and be part of my life, who will make me laugh, share my dreams and hopes for my kids. Someone special who will be with me watching the sunset when my hair is gray and my skin is wrinkled. Why not? It may be someone new, someone I have never met, someone young, someone old or even an EX…. An ex who once became a part of my life, who made me laugh, cried with me, listened to me and made sacrifices. No one can tell.

For now, it is unclear. Who knows what the future holds for both of us. They say love is lovelier the second time around but I was never a believer of this. Let’s see what happens. Let’s see how we fare the second time around.


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