the woman nobody knew existed…

I have been wanting to write about the colorful life of mistresses or shall I say the “other woman?”
I am pretty sure I will be getting a lot of comments about this blog. Lately, I have been bombarded with local movies pertaining to this subject. No other Woman, Neighbor’s Wife, A Secret Affair and The Mistress. All of which I watched and enjoyed. The life of the other woman is not as complicated as the life of a wife. She may be in the shadows but she is a happy woman. Her man comes to her and needs her, she is content. But let me just ask why do men need mistresses? Why do men have secret affairs? Why is a wife not enough? My Ex husband had countless mistresses. My mom once questioned. What the hell is he looking for? You’re smart, beautiful, a good cook, a good mother to your kids. What else is he looking for? For many years, I did not know the real answer.

Wives always ask the question, What’s wrong with me? Is it the way I look? Is it the way I cook? Is it the way I dress? WHAT???? Sometimes as wives, we will never understand the reason. But for me, I discovered from years and years of experience with friends who were once the other woman, and maybe my own experience when I never knew that I was also the other woman. Men, seek thrill. Men, seek excitement. Men seek spark, Men seek a different flavor. When you are a married couple, your lives become a routine. You become comfortable with each other and the situation. You become very trusting and complacent. Sometimes the fire that once was there in the marriage has gone to smoke. In defense to married men, it’s not all the time that they seek a new woman in their lives. There are times when it just happens. Man meets new woman, got attracted to each other, falls in love, have sex, found new fire and thrill and it keeps going. Some wives may get angry at me but I have to say, Mistresses are not always at fault. They are human beings too. Capable of giving the same amount of love as a wife would give to her husband. Yes, it is wrong to fall in love with a married person. But it’s already there. Nobody can stop it nor control it. It just happens.

Mistresses know how to handle their man. They know how to make their man happy, they know the weaknesses of the wife so they know what to do. Mistresses know their way in bed. Why else would a married man come back for more over and over again? Because the sex is great! The sex is awesome. It’s new and exciting. Even if it’s wrong, for them it feels just right. That’s just one factor. Mistresses know what their men don’t like and make sure every time their man is around,they make sure he is not reminded of his married life. One thing I also observed is that the other woman always dresses to impress. They look smart, sexy and independent. They will never dress like the wife. They too are trophy wives. Well, there are some, who becomes clingy to their man and act like they are wives so they are being left when they start acting that way. A general rule for mistresses is never act like you are the wife. And for wives to act like a mistress in bed. Nowadays, more women are starting to be open to this open relationship. Some women, would think it’s okay most especially if they don’t have plans of really getting married and have kids. Or for some it may just be casual. No strings attached. It’s a choice, nobody should dictate nor judge. Because how a person live his life is nobody’s business.

We are not to judge anyone nor mistresses. I for one never confronted any of my husband’s mistresses. Just as long as they know their boundaries and limitations, they don’t meddle with my kids money, they don’t throw a tantrum on my face then we are all fine. Mistresses should always know where they stand, they should know when to stop so as not to get hurt or hurt anyone else. Right? Wives, will always be wives and will always have legal control and rights. The other woman should know that first and foremost.

It’s never wrong to love a married person but know when to draw the line.

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2 thoughts on “the woman nobody knew existed…

  1. kbugsmama November 24, 2012 at 11:41 pm Reply

    I like your outlook on this. I for one can not deal with infidelity. I don’t like knowing that the man I love is out there sleeping with other women esp. with so many sexually transmitted diseases out there. but I say to each their own 🙂

    • gingsoto November 25, 2012 at 7:42 am Reply

      thank you so much for the comment. Yep, as long as we know where we stand and we know the boundaries… Cheers!!!

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