Tomorrow I will be celebrating my 37th birthday. No celebrations nor fanfare. just some quality family time. I began to assess the years gone by and truly I must say I lived a colorful and emotional life. 37 years may sound short but when I look back I have been through a lot of things which I believe a normal 37-year-old woman would not have gone through. For starters, I knew all my life that I was adopted. My mom was so strict that me and my brother can’t do stuff normal teenagers would do. I was a rebel. I did a lot of stupid and crazy things in life. I never had a perfect relationship with any guy. The longest relationship I had would actually be around 8 years or so. I lost 2 children to a genetic disorder. I have piles and piles of debt. My career is I would say steady. No personal growth for at least 7 years. I was tricked by a man in lending him money and never paying me back. Now he acts as if nothing happened even if it almost reached the high courts. My brother’s long time girlfriend died in a horrible fire which took her life and her niece’s life. She was very close to me. I liked her and losing her created a hole in my heart. I lost my Dad last February of this year. This will be my first birthday without him.
I have 3 wonderful and smart children. They are the only source of strength and joy in my life. There are some people whom they think they could better take care of my kids but I will never allow them to do so because my children are mine alone. Nobody can take them away from me. For some my parenting skills may sometimes be too liberated and carefree. But that’s how I want my 3 children to be raised. To have an open mind, to speak what they have to say. To be able to do the things I was not able to do. To reach their full potential. Their achievements are mine too.
If I look back now, I would say that my life is full of trials and drama. This blog would not be enough to sum up everything that has happened in the past. But I am the strong person that I am right now because of the trials, problems and hardships I have faced through the years. I am still a work in progress, I am learning and I hope I don’t get too tired or too frustrated with everything that is going on. I am a strong believer in love, life and happiness. I may not have found the right person to be with. I know somewhere out there, he is there for me.
My life is like a canvass. There is mystery, beauty, drama and joy rolled into one. I don’t care what others may say about me or how I live my life. What is important is that I live my life the way I want it to be. I don’t hurt nor step on others feelings. I learn from my mistakes. Impart to people my learning experiences. What I really need right now is to relax, enjoy and appreciate what I have and be content. I just need to pause for a minute and move on once again.
Everyone deserves to be happy. We must do what we have to do in order for us to achieve what needs to be achieved and learn to Live life, like there is no tomorrow….