Monthly Archives: February 2013

What Motivates Me….

A lot has been said about what motivates a person. Each of us has his/her own motivation in life. Mine is as clear as daylight. What motivates me is my CHILDREN…. always and forever!

For some, Money is a motivator. Family, God, Fame, Promotion, Love, Excellence and so on are big motivators in life. But do we really seek our inner thoughts and inner being? What really motivates us? What drives us to reach something? Why do we need to motivate ourselves?

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Recently, due to the sudden turn of events, It made me think more seriously and deeply. I had to re motivate myself, made a list and asked myself what I should do to inspire the inner me to move forward and reach my goals in life. The first question that popped in my mind is What do I really need to achieve? Followed by, Why do I want to achieve it? How will I achieve it? I want to do good first and foremost with my work and career. In the next seven months, I aim to give an extraordinary performance. How will I achieve this? I have always known myself by working quietly and with no distractions around. I want to focus mainly on my tasks and getting a very positive result. I said to myself the other day that I will never engage in things that will hinder me from doing my best. Meaning, I will avoid people, things and situations that will cause me to lose focus. I have to keep my eye on the Gold. I am doing this not just for myself but for the people I owe so much. I am tired of fighting and saying my piece. I just want to keep quiet, and keep my act together.

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So What do I want to achieve after seven months? Simple, I want to get what I deserve. Eight years of hard work, loyalty and patience is tough. Why do I want to achieve it? I have worked so hard to come this far and it’s fair that I get it. How? By working very hard in the next seven months or so….

I will stay focus, show a different side of me. People may wonder what’s this new side of me and some may get worried but I don’t care as long as I’m doing my job and I’m not doing anything wrong I will be perfectly fine.

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Motivation must come from within. People may influence motivation but I am lucky that I learned it from myself alone. Lessons learned the hard way, but I am glad it did not change the real person in me. I stand up for what I believed in and say the things I strongly disagree with. I know when it’s wrong and I know when it’s right. I am still the same person but with a very different attitude this time.

Nobody will help you, unless you help yourself. Trust only yourself and only yourself and Make things happen!

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Sexy Time

It’s Valentine’s Day and maybe I was bitten by the love bug. (Just a little) Well, he is miles away from me but that wouldn’t keep me and Mr Boxer (his secret name) from keeping the flames burning. This is a lesson I have learned through the years of good and bad relationships. When we go into a relationship at the start we always put our best foot forward. We dress to impress, we say sweet nothings, we give grand gifts and we spend time with our partners like there’s no tomorrow but as years gone by we tend to fall in the simple routine of being in a relationship. We become so relax and complacent that things are smooth sailing. We tend to forget the special things we used to do for them Sometimes there is this thinking that we have been together for a long time, I married her/him so that’s it. It’s the grandest gesture. Then the problem arises. Or shall I say boredom strikes! Humans especially those in a relationship long for intimacy and passion. When we allow ourselves to fall into the routine, we tend to get bored, restless and dull. Sometimes our eyes wander. The longing for excitement, thrill and adventure takes over.

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How do we really keep the fire burning in our relationships. SIMPLE! by not being stagnant. Not allowing ourselves to fall in the routine of being so comfortable with how things are doing. We have to make it a habit to try something new. To explore different things together. It is not a hard thing to do if you really love the person and you want to make him/her feel very special. Sexy Time as some of my close friends would call it is a special time we share with our mates. It is not simply just SEX. It doesn’t happen in the bedroom all the time. It doesn’t require naked bodies or a hotel room. Sexy Time is a moment where you make your mate extra important and special. A simple sexy look, a bite in the lip, a soft caress, a kiss on the neck, running your fingers through his/ her hair. Candles all over the house with a bottle of red wine. A stimulating conversation. A view of the full moon while having an intimate dinner. A walk on the beach holding hands with a view of a gorgeous sunset. Everything else follows. Of course SEX is important. Who wouldn’t want to do it with the one you love? But we just need to spiced it up a little bit.

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There are so many ways to make your Sexy time even sexier. As I’ve said, your sexy time doesn’t necessarily involve a lot of SEX. Our Sexy Time may differ from one person to another but definitely our goal is to make it truly a memorable time and a night or day to remember.

When I say let’s make everyday Valentine’s Day. That really sounded so cliché. We don’t need Valentine’s to remind us that we have to show our love or to honor our loved ones. Yes, it’s a day where we celebrate LOVE but if you truly are in love with someone, We show our love, gratitude and appreciation for the one person that truly makes us happy and makes us want to live and dream and breathe every single day of our lives.

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Love is so amazing, It can change your life, it can make you cry but Love is just a wonderful feeling especially when shared with not only one person but with the rest of the world.

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Just spread LOVE everyday and life would be so much happier and light.

a Man and his bucket of lies…

I bet one way or another a woman is a victim of lying man out there. I for one was victimized by a vicious man who pretended to be separated from his wife and is always in dire need of money.

Well ladies, if you were once victimized by these suckers, WELCOME! WELCOME! I have never had the chance to write about him for several years now. It was indeed a very sensitive issue back then when I almost quit my job due to sheer embarrassment and self-pity.

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I met this man at the office where I am still working at present. He was not the good-looking man whom you would lay eyes every time he would pass by. I never knew he existed until a common friend introduced us. It was quite simple, he took my number from my friend started sending text messages. I was out of my marriage for about 2 or 3 years and at that time I was beginning to feel lonely and just wanted to be in a relationship. The funny thing was that everybody around us was telling me that his marriage was on the rocks and finally ended. I believed this sincerely but I knew deep inside me that something was off. Our relationship lasted almost a year. I would admit I loved him so much back then. But things started to get really weird when he started to borrow money from me. If you are in a relationship and you think that both of you are in love, you wouldn’t think bad about the person. So it was fine, I had a little extra so it did not bother me at first. Until it became worst, when at one point he would tell me that he was robbed. The robber got all of his salary, that he needs to pay the rent, that he needs to give money to his parents. etc…. At one point he asked me if we could get a loan and he would pay half of the amount. So I did apply for that loan but he never paid me. I applied for a mobile phone service wherein I could get 2 phones with 2 lines, he took the other phone but never really paid a single cent. This continued but I was becoming aware of his bad behavior. I knew this was not fair. And to think he was not even thinking that I have kids to support too. What really pissed me off was when I found out that he asked another woman from our office to go out with him. The good thing is that while I was a Senior in the company, most people have high respect towards me and told me about it. I confronted the girl and she told me that she felt he was trying to victimize her. His story was that he is waiting for a cousin to arrive because the cousin owes him a big amount of money. The girl and my ex had breakfast. When the girl went home she received a text message from the guy saying his cousin was robbed and all of his money was taken. Right there and then the girl knew that he was up to something. This made me realize that everything was all wrong.

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I was really becoming suspicious because during weekends, he would turn off his mobile phone so I can’t text or call him. I got the courage to open his locker and check his messages. Lo and behold when I saw his wife’s text messages. It wasn’t as if they were going through a rough patch. It was like they were like a normal loving couple.

To make this long story shorter, I told his wife. I wanted to come out clean. I wanted her to know what his philandering husband is doing. At first we were fine. The wife was really upset as she said it was the second time he did this to her. But as days gone by, the wife started singing a different tune. She was really upset with me and started to tell fabricated lies about me. This almost ruined my career. A male friend stood behind me and fought for me because they saw how broken, hurt and frustrated I was. This reached to a point wherein we had to settle this in the lower courts because it was really getting ugly and my family never knew about this whole mess. My kids were devastated and angry but God is really good and I have friends who backed me all the way. Friends who knew what really happened and friends who knew me inside and out. There were some who believed him that I was the desperate woman who wanted him so much. That I was out to destroy his marriage. It was once tagged as FATAL ATTRACTION. He never paid me back, he returned a different mobile phone. But I just closed my eyes and ears. I walked with my head held high. I knew and always believed in karma. Some people may think that I was the bitch in all of these. I was broke with a pile of debts because of him. But I knew back then the truth will come out someday. True to form it did.
He had another very similar case at the office. Another woman he victimized, made her fall in love, took money and embarrassed her in front of so many people. The girl approached me because one of our leaders told her of my story. She was very upset and I felt sorry for her because I felt I could have done something to prevent him from doing this again to other women. I know it was bad that it happened to another person but I felt vindicated to some people who once believed I was the bad guy.

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Years have passed and I saw him at a party. My male friend who was very protective of me told me that the guy was looking at me. My friend never left my side because he knew the guy might try something stupid. He did! When I was making my way to the bathroom and my male friend was at the bar, he said Hello!!! that I was a snob. He held my hand for a few seconds. I was stunned, petrified and angry that I want to slap him on the face!!! My girl friends realized this was happening pulled me away from him. I was still speechless and I was mortified. How could he just say hello and act as if nothing happened in the past that he almost destroyed me? Well, there are really people who can forget the wrongs they have done to people. Some of my female friends said that the wife may have known this strategy and may be using her husband to get money from other women. What a wicked and evil thing to do especially that they have children too. For me, this man has mastered the Art of Deceit. I am writing this because I want others to be aware that LOVE can be a disguise to DECEIT. Love is sometimes used by bad people to get what they want. And Love sometimes is used to hurt other innocent people like children and family members.

Some may ask me, Have you forgiven him? I can’t say YES, I can’t say NO. But he lost his job recently and I know God may have taught him a lesson or two and that God may just want me to forgive but not forget. Another lesson learned in Life and in Love.

Men and Spice

My brain was not functioning well for the past few weeks. I was engrossed with work and meeting my stats. I want to focus on my blog as my avid readers and followers are asking me what’s new on my blog. I was inspired to write this afternoon about Men in general. Spices and sparkle. I was chatting with an Ex bf slash childhood friend slash good friend. we were talking about his family life. He would often joke about us going out on a date or checking out other girls and I would tell him it’s not right. I told him you are very much married and a family man. That would simply be unfair to your wife and your kids, I said. I was really surprise with his answer when he said, She is my wife, she is the mother of my children. that won’t ever change. Then why ask for a date with me or with another girl? He simply replied maybe I miss the excitement. The thrill. Aaaahhhh!!! I said. You miss the spice of being in an intimate relationship. The goose bumps, the stomach twisting moments, the crazy I’m in love feeling. The fireworks. The electricity. But whatever happened to the love between spouses? The cuddling, the just you and me alone time. What really happens after the wedding, the honeymoon stage, the pregnancy, the childbirth?

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Most people would say everything stops after the children are born. Couples get preoccupied in taking care of the children. Busy schedules, school meetings, business meetings and so on. We miss the fact that we have our partners to think about. I was once married. And I must say that there was a point in my marriage when all we thought about was the kids, our finances and our jobs. We missed the fact that first and foremost we were a married couple that we were suppose to take care of each other. That we have to make each other feel special. Don’t let the romance leave the relationship or the marriage.

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For most women it is easy to sacrifice everything for the sake of a happy and complete family. But for most men, not all! There is always an urge to seek and find thrill and adventure. Men look at us women differently when we give birth. It’s like we lost the glamour, the sparkle. I would admit I embraced motherhood when I had children. I forgot to love myself, to look good and feel good about myself. I focus more on being the best mother in the world. It’s a good thing I realized my shortcomings early and changed not for my husband but for ME…. Just for me, for my self-worth. It was too late though for my marriage. I couldn’t save it. But I’m ok, I’m in love once agin and I hope I won’t make the same mistake again.

So what’s with men and spice??? Men would always look for something new and exciting. Something new to their taste and preference. the important thing with us women is that we have to do our best to keep the fire burning. Bring lots of spice in the marriage and relationship. Be a little more adventurous, try something different. Something kinky. Red lingerie, hand cuffs, whipped cream, candles, a pole, role playing, whatever it takes to make it really special and enticing. Men are visual in general. When they like what they see and they want it bad and they try to get it. It stimulates their brain and senses and most especially their ****.

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So why not add a little spice, it won’t hurt.
What’s a little spice in our relationship, when it could keep your man hooked.