My long distance relationship turns out to be full of unwanted surprises. At first it felt like it was full of deceit and lies but when I really tried to look beyond the reasons why He tried to hide some stuff from me it makes a whole lot of sense. It’s been almost 6 to 7 months of non stop communication. What’s hard is that you really wouldn’t know the real person unless you meet them personally and live with them.
I am still struggling to put my complete trust and confidence in him but I know that if it’s really God’s will for us to be together, God will find a way and He will make things right.
I have fallen in love for so many times and I have been hurt in the process but the hopeless romantic in me never stopped me from believing that there could always be a happy ending. Life would be a boring process without love. Love for your family, children, friends and most especially Love for a special someone. I have always wanted to be with someone who will love me, accept me, respect me and my children and whom I could grow old with. I never wanted to find a rich partner, nor a handsome young man. Just someone I could share my hopes, my dreams, my failures and my happiness.
I found something in this man I am in a relationship right now. He may be a thousand miles away from me but the security, the feeling of peace and love whenever I chat with him is just so relaxing and serene. So many challenges has rocked the relationship that at one point I almost gave up and never wanted to see him in the flesh. I prayed so hard that I will be guided with my decisions and I will be enlightened. Every time our relationship is put to the test, He would always be there and fight for us. He never gave up even if I was the one who would always raise my hands and surrender. He never turned his back on me even if I had the shortcomings of a little girl. At the end of the day I came back to him. I was tested twice of his true intentions, of his true feelings for me. I never wanted to see him nor speak with him, I tried blocking all communications but still the emotions are far too strong to disregard. I gave him one last chance. One last…
My fault is that I have never been too trusting, always in doubt, always in question. My guard is always up. The fact that I don’t want to get hurt sometimes hurt me all the more. Of loving and believing the one that you really love, of letting go of all the negativity and doubts and just Loving, believing and trusting your Beloved. Love is a risk. I always said I don’t want to take anymore risks but right now I want to be happy and stay happy. I want to fall in love freely. I want to set my heart free and just be emotionally content. I want to trust more and love more.
So I am letting go of all the emotional burdens, heartaches and sad memories and just look forward to the man that he really is. The man who loves me and never gave up. The man who makes my mornings brighter, the man who looks beyond my persona. The man who inspire me to lose weight and look prettier. My, best friend, my lover, my partner, The man I want to spend the rest of my life with.